community shommunity

...as we lovingly call it, so as not to take ourselves too seriously.
but maybe we should. in spite of ourselves we are in radical transformation of being some kind of family to one another in a place where circumstance and distance means many of us find ourselves without familial arms to hold us together, bound not by blood but vulnerability.

we try to understand what it means when we say, home, bound up in all its evocation of nostalgia, broken memories, longing, fear. maybe that's why i like 'nest' - a provisional dwelling meant to protect and built with care from what we find around us...but all the while learning how to be in some sense home to one another...to embody safety...a slow painstaking journey of mutual give and take... allowing trust to grow like moss...damp with tears and soft to touch...

the twine and twig woven togther with our sharing, our attempts to find common language... to define our vocabulary and hence be able to speak with mutual understanding and depth...this creative act allows us to communicate within this invisible nest...a space where one is understood for what one actually means and not what the other wants to hear...to have a common tongue that by its nature keeps others out as much as it invites :us: in...

brave little birds... doing the best we can with what we have... and somehow having hope that when the bottle of self belief is close to dry with spent tears somehow something someone will be there to pull us through so that we can face another day...

to those that carry me through... you have my love and gratitude...thank you for sensing...finding me out...for holding me together when grief in all its guises bears me down...you know who you are... you know you got me to today.

she asked,
what's the biggest risk you ever took?
i see now
it is to trust
and i do it every day

LB, x

another ::live through this:: track from chris - suffer in silence (from burn the maps) by the frames...

come back, show your face
dont you see
your too good for this place
can we leave.
its not your fault, what they say
dont believe..

or would you rather suffer in silence.
and defeat
or would you rather suffer in silence
needlessly

ah come on, show the way
ill believe
welcome back, youve been away
hows it been.

or would you rather suffer in silence.
and defeat
or would you rather suffer in silence
needlessly..

wake up.. its your love calling..