Saturday, April 03, 2010

it's time for things to change

i would have posted this yesterday but the site was inundated with traffic beyond their expectations. it's been upgraded and now running smoothly. catch up today.
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Because Joel is a male-identified man and i am a female-identified woman, he and i are being afforded privileges and protections in our relationship that some of our friends are being denied. 
this is unequal. it demeans others. but  i believe this inequality also demeans us and our relationship. 
Why? Because we didn't earn those privileges and protections. instead they've been given to us unearned, simply by virtue of our gendered identity -- because of the bodies we were born into, bodies we did not choose. not because we love one another, not because of our commitment, not because of what we share together or how we are alike, not even because of our orientations, but because he and i are simply perceived to be different from one another. and our gender difference from one another is seen as more important than our characters and the quality of the loving care and commitment we show one another. i don't think that's just unequal, i find that insulting to our humanity and our love for one another, just as it insults the humanity and love of our friends. 
just because we chose each other, why should we be treated better than others? ours is not a better class of love. and yet it's treated like it is better. we will accept 
the protections on offer to us so that we can make a life together. but i, for one, will not accept the inequality on which our unearned privilege is based. this inequality affords our togetherness a social and civic status that is being denied to our friends. i want all couples to be granted these same protections we are being offered, these same rights for togetherness.
it's time for things to change.
get informed. get involved. 
i give a damn. do you?


  1. Yes. I give a damn. I hope some day my kids look back at such inequality the same way we look at back at segregation: in the past and quite confusing as to why things were ever that way.

    And by the way, I saw your comment on Peer Pressure is Forever and I'd LOVE to send you some info. on feminist science fiction, because I covered some of that in a paper I wrote a few semesters ago. Could I get your email? Maybe send it through Joel. I think he has mine.

  2. hey, :)

    scroll down to the very bottom of the page and you'll see an email address you can use. (it's behind scratchy lines so it can't be picked up by nasty programmes scouring the web looking for email addresses to use and abuse with spam. but it should be readable. any problems come back to me)

    would love to see what you have.
    am about to (possibly video) blog on the Ursula K Le Guin so check back later for more on that... :)