"so is the plan here to fuck with people's heads?"
"no. we're gonna fuck with our own."
::
well, that's it. we've had our final meeting. all other prep now happens on site.
this is a pretty ambitious service. i hope we can pull it off and maintain the sense of vertigo we have typically tried to achieve. pushing a/theism boundaries as ever, this time we're pushing our own and it remains to be seen if that will translate.
the worst thing anyone can say about an ikon "service" is that they have no opinion on it, and yet it's always a hard line knowing just what will be a meaningful provocation for one and what will be merely meaningless pretension to another...but we welcome either over apathy.
i've escaped from having to do the kind of confessional writing i've done for the last few greenbelt outings but there are some elements of this one that came out of me saying quite literally, if i was gonna be thrust out of my comfort zone then we'd be doing...and everyone said, let's do it. and as a consequence of our imaginings and indeed my own playful self-provocation, i am aware that there are those who i respect and care about whose boundaries are also gonna be pushed to the limit in their contribution. my heart will be pounding for them on the night, as i am sure their's will be. but i can't wait to hear our plans in action, to hear familiar voices doing things unfamiliar.
i'm getting stretched in a whole new way this year, and i look forward to the stepping up to the plate, and the losing of the self in the moment...i hope i can go there. my favourite ikon moments have been those where i have been shaking one minute and in the next i hear my voice speaking and i feel nothing but calm...note: that does not include the communion of champagne and chocolate cake upon which i choked and those present thought it was "cool performance art". someone told me afterward they thought it, "clever. powerfully ironic." it may well have been. just not planned that way and a touch too close to an act of unwilling martyrdom.
but then i guess that's it. ikon is theo-drama. and the drama, in a performance sense, is method acting. when playing roles or digging deep and pulling out our souls in acts of public confession it is always intended to be an act of authenticity.
to those coming to ::fundamentalism::, please hang around after if there isn't something on the programme you're desperate to get to... i have no doubt the belfast crew will be heading for a pint after the gig... so at least hang on to find out where we're headed...
i hope 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 7.
maybe there will be weeping. maybe anger. or reconcilliation. or irritation. or maybe you'll chuckle nervously while thinking, i don't know quite why i'm creeped out, but i am... i hope you don't feel apathy. i hope you feel a little unsteady on your feet and unsure which way is up. that's where we plan to be...
or maybe we're just messin' with ya... you'll have to trust us...
see ya on site buds,
LB, x
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