30 december 2005: i remember that i wept. my knees buckled and i whispered, "i am so tired of keeping it together. i feel like such a fucking loser and it takes so much energy to reinvent myself everyday..."
there are days when you think,
this cannot possibly be my life...
how the hell did i get to here?
this is one of 'em...
the kind of day when your hormones refuse to play nice... and let your heart out of the bag to rise up and catch in your throat...
when aloneness feels like lead and allows you no one else to convict but yourself.
thinking in the third person becomes the buffer when you realise the painful truth that keeping up the pretense you don't need is not only exhausting but a futile lie.
gonna sleep some.
LB
I love you.
ReplyDeleteAll of you.
Even the hormones.
from
Me x
know you are not alone x
ReplyDeleteright back at ya both... x
ReplyDelete