there are some who doubt there is a god. who'd make it up if there wasn't.
some days that's been me.
some days i wish there was no god. that i could unmake it.
i am so tired.
i feel the weight pressing down.
feel my frame buckling under.
and i damn the god who will not let me give up.
but i cannot unmake it. cannot kill what is both beyond and inside me.
to kill that god would be to cut out my own heart.
and it refuses to let me do it.
i am exhausted by the heartache.
just as i am exhausted by the hope that makes me drag myself forward into another day.
i wish god would pass by on the other side of the road. leave me behind...
i wish god would unmake god.
because i cannot do it.
but somedays i don't know how i can keep going...
somedays i can barely hold up my own weight...
and i am tired of being dragged on...