let's promise to be uncool

Sitting in the kitchen with ewan’s ipod in my ibook. Listening to a ::modest mouse:: covers album tiny cities by ::sun kil moon::. Loving it. Absolutely beautiful. I wish you could hear it right now. check out www.sunkilmoon.com for more... one of the nicest sites i've seen in a long time...


Neverending Math Equation by modest mouse/covered by sun kil moon

I'm the same as I was when I was 6 years old
And oh my God I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything
On a plane, I can see the tiny lights below
And oh my God, they look so alone
Do they really feel anything?
Oh my God, I've gotta gotta gotta gotta move on
Where do you move when what you're moving from
Is yourself?
The universe works on a math equation
that never even ever really ends in the end
Infinity spirals out creation
We're on the tip of its tongue, and it is saying
We aint sure where you stand
You aint machines and you aint land
And the plants and the animals, they are linked
And the plants and the animals eat each other
Oh my God and oh my cat
I told my Dad what I need
Well I know what I have and want
But I don't know what I need
Well, he said he said he said he said
"Where we're going I'm dead."

::

50something hours in. so many beautiful memories already... poignant conversations where we sit on the edge of tears and where honesty frees us to be ourselves to talk of what intimidates us...

...so much laughter in so many stories with characters straight outta little britain or the league of gentlemen:

::
'The AV service desk where I work is in the three storey college library.
This guy walks up and says, ‘I’m looking for a book with a metaphor.”
So I replied, “Oh you’re looking for a book that explains metaphors?”
“No. I just need a book. Any book. But it has to have a metaphor in it.” '
::

meeting of friends...putting faces to the names he has seen here and in emails and heard down the phone line... feels like he’s known padraig in all his gentleness all his life and feels joy in the prodigal experience of getting to know him... delights in shared history with ricky, gratefully embraces the camaraderie of finding he had skipped the class where guys 'round here are taught to resort to abrasive sparring to speak friendship... saw willow’s self depreciating shyness in her smile and instantly wanted to be friends... talking music and brian taking notes...seeing his smile when his best friend walks into common grounds, and seeing chris's smile as they greeted each other...

having him here reminds me of the beauty of my friends...confirms what is I love about each of them... the very reasons I wanted him to meet you...

saturday evening was beautiful...i knew he'd ::get:: ricky and padraig with ease...the four of us ate and drank and talked and laughed...as the night drew on honest talk confessed our fears and defences...we responded with a quiet embracing of our unfolding... witnessed the courage of a hurt heart daring tentative tenderness to self...inch by inch we walk the path of glory...kindness and encouragement in our stumblings...

ewan gave us a gift in the conversation... showed us a dvd of ::low:: performing the following track...

::
(that's how you sing) amazing grace
by low
i knew this girl when i was young
she took her spikes from everyone
one night she swallowed up the lake
that's how you sing amazing grace

amazing grace
amazing grace

it sounds like razors in my ears
that bell's been ringing now for years
someday i'll give it all away
that's how you sing amazing grace

oh, can you hear that sweet sweet sound
yeah, i was lost but now i'm found
sometimes there's nothing left to save
that's how you sing amazing grace

amazing grace
that's how you sing amazing grace

::

congratulations to philip seymour hoffman on the oscar. ewan and chris today talked of his performance as lester bangs in ::almost famous:: and ewan quoted the following line, which once upon a time i had as a signature line in my email...

::The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone else when we're being uncool. ::

amen brother. amen.
LB, x