first up: happy birthday to danielle louise, lynn and michael. all born on the 7th.
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here's some thoughts on the last 36 hours or so...
there is little else that warms me more than when folks i love curl up on a chair to read a book or doze while i potter about.. or put the kettle on the stove.. who know that of course i'll want the fire set and lit... or to go ahead and open the bottle of wine or select music for the stereo and know me well enough to know what i'll like... when i see another feeling safe under my roof it makes me feel safe in it too... this place is my nest and i'm more comfortable in my nest than anywhere else...but it never feels more like home than when it is being shared by those who pad about it in like cats...there's something beautifully familial about it all... and it is a joy to see the little adjustments as those i love enter my space and little by little trust that when i say "make yourself at home" i mean it...who start to get my controlled sense of clutter...that my home is a continually changing canvas on which i collage my life and loves...
had a delightful chat with willow, who dropped round for a cuppa, and is infectious in her enthusiasm to embrace new experiences. we listened to metallica and moshed just a little. i've offered to join her in a goal for 2006 - the go to a hard rock/heavy metal gig, wear black and let go... bring it on.
like willow, gail is learning to settle in and napped on the couch. it made me smile.
stu and keli continue to affirm me and my home space so beautifully by their ease when they are here. it is an important goal of mine to make wherever i live be a place where people feel they can relax and be 'at home'. these two just get that instinctively and it's nothing short of lovely.
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started reading stephen king's latest novel, ::Cell::. as soon as i finish here i am going straight back to it... brilliantly macabre, gripping from the outset and delightfully contemporary - the first book i've read where a character is wearing an iPod...
also purchased the ::Novelty Library:: by Chris Ware, his follow up to ::Jimmy Corcoran, the smartest kid on earth:: dark dark DARK sense of humour but crafted with finesse. the most beautifully packaged comic book i've seen yet. up there with mcsweeney's. i think graphic novels are gonna become something of a fetish of mine...
chance meeting and conversation with the equally delightful, gothic and always quirky jon and amy led to discussion of same...jon's into graphic novels and i got a recommendation for the next installment to my collection...and yes i've already been to amazon to source it...
ewan picked up some vinyl. since we were in virgin it seemed rude not to buy the latest mogwai album. only time will tell if i'll consider this a classic in their discography, but track 6 is a stunner...
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with ewan sitting beside me and giving me encouraging arm squeezes, i contacted two potential therapists. first one has his books full so can't take on new clients. awaiting call back from second. but it felt like progress.
fascinating conversation with chris about the psychotherapeutic understanding of language and our use of it...
recieved a lovely gift from john 'presmo' - short stories by evelyn conlon. very touched by the gesture...
received payment in excess of costs for two scarves i knitted for the common grounds boys in recent weeks, and for a moment i was a professional knitter. of scarves. (haven't tried anything else yet.) i do it for love not money, but it's a little landmark when you get paid for your craft...
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started into a chocolate brown scarf for ewan. half way done already.
i knitted at tuesday group. chris declared he believed that surely no one on earth tonight bar me was knitting whilst listening to boards of canada, (which we were). be it unique or no, i thought it was a depicted me in a way i kinda like. it sums up a me that i'm happy to embrace. and given that this Lent i am following strict instructions from jude and jayne in the hard learning curve of self affirmation that too felt like progress...
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tuesday group was a joy, or as daniel calls it, ::friends night::
i don't know if i will ever be a mother... i've never thought of myself as particularly maternal... but in chris and suz i see a model of great parenting...
chris read us two poems by patrick kavanagh...
Truth
The light behind a written word,
The silence of a singing bird,
The quiet at the root of trouble,
Not love, but love's ecstatic double,
A child asleep upon its prayer,
The glance of eyes that do not stare,
The beauty-spell of things uncouth -
These are the marks of living truth.
Worship
To your high altar I once came
Proudly, even brazenly, and I said:—
Open your tabernacles I too am flame
Ablaze on the hills of Being. Let the dead
Chant the low prayer beneath a candled shrine,
O cut for me life's bread, for me pour wine!
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blaze on friends,
LB, x
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