until the violence stops...

Shirley told me she went to see The Vagina Monologues last night with her mum and sister.
that got me surfing to see what's been going on in the world of V*. so thanks to her for sparking this...

i found this great video from the V-Day 10 year celebrations at the end of last year:




and then i found this,

MENding Monologues.

a guy in Sedona, Arizona has started a project that is in partnership with V-Day... some of the content is powerful... videos here on youtube (which is how i happened upon it)
the project does two types of show: the touring show, and community shows, where men take part in workshops and write their own monologues. <-- examples on that page.

"Our shows are a healing to men, a love letter to women and call to end violence in all its forms."

violence againt women not only damages women, it damages men. and it silences them. which is what all forms of abuse do. silences. puts the things we don't want to be brought into the light into a closet with the door jammed shut. it makes the truth into a dirty secret no one dare talk about. it creates fear. and in that atmosphere of intimidation, fear and secrets, the abuse goes on.

but i believe men can be just as empowered as women to raise their voice and express their feelings and desire for justice for women, and to heal in the process. MENding Monologues seems to be aiming for just that.

i've been waiting for a long time for somone to take seriously what V-Day is about and find a way to bring men's voices into the conversation. the appropriate response to The Vagina Monologues is not balance things out with The Penis Monologues. it might be entertaining but i think that misses the point. instead, it is to hear the call The Vagina Monologues is making: to end violence by ending silence. that takes courage. but i also know that the process empowers. not with power over, but power for. that power for is what V-Day is all about.
and i'm glad there's an attempt being made to invite men's voices into that experience. i know from my own experience how enriching and empowering it was to take part in The Vagina Monologues. that's an experience i'd want for anyone. and the more voices, the better. this empowers men to share their stories too.

this monologue is a true story courageously told by the man who wrote it. the names have been changed.



and should my dear friends who have suffered and survived rape, assault and abuse ever pass by this page and read this, know i am thinking of you as i write, with as much love, pride and admiration at your survivor's courage as always...

altogether now:

C, C, Ca, Ca, Cavern, Cackle, Clit, Cute, Come...

LB

*remember, V is for Vaginas and Victory Over Violence.

from bunny boilers to dumbledore and various gendery things in between

new day, new look. i was getting tired of the old colour scheme. dunno if the template will stay but anyways,

here's a corral of lost'n'found snippets from the last 24 hours...

::

elizabeth wortzle ranted on a new film, and traces a brief history of the "crazed woman" archetype in cinema.
it brought to mind a fairly detailed and disturbing account of the violently misogynist changes that were made to Fatal Attraction (in response to test screenings) in Backlash by Susan Faludi.

::

i'm finding the work of charlie white, the girl studies (2008) curious and a little unsettling. andrew womack has an interesting take on the provocation. i find the, "teens and transgender comparative study" interesting and quite beautiful on initial viewing, but i'm not sure how to read the rest of his work in this project. i find the "ammerican minor film stills" uncomfortable. which is probably the point.

::

more gender related stuff, of a more troubling kind, and closer to home: i received an email from a friend regarding an upcoming conference exploring (read: encouraging) faith based reparative therapy for those "suffering" SSA. said friend asked, what can be done?
my guess is: turn up, listen, ask pertinent questions, peacefully protest... i note they do welcome those who disagree with them to attend and listen, as long as they don't disrupt proceedings.

for details of the event, see the hyperlink to a pdf in the line,

Jeffrey Satinover, 2004, 10th Edition. Dr Satinover to visit Northern Ireland June 19 and 20 2009

on this page

seems to me these folks are trying to keep the event pretty quiet by not having the ad more visible on their site.

i'm conscious looking at the related sites for this event what a definitive language shift has taken place here in less than a year - out of the theological and into the psychological. although that reflecting a wider international shift, i can't help but feel that from an NI perspective this is a rather strategic response to the iris robinson debacle of last summer.
in 2009 it seems it's not okay to call LGBTQ persons an abomination, but it is okay to talk about compassionately sharing their struggle with them while inferring that their struggle is like the struggle against nazi-ism. <-- i don't know how else to interpret that *bizarre* juxtaposition on that FAQ page.

i found it rather curious that under the heading, Manhood for Today, on one the conference hosts' site, was the following line,

Laocoon was a seer in Greek mythology who is famed for trying to persuade the Trojans not to take the famous wooden horse into the city and for doing so his sons are killed, but not before he tries to save them. He did what was right and did not shy away from the consequences; he engaged in the fight. We need to get active in the lives of our young people.
I love that line in Harry Potter when Dumbledore is speaking to him and says, “the time is coming Harry, when people will have to decide between doing what is right and what is easy...
This statue [of Lacoon] represents for me a man engaging in the struggle for the life of his sons (children). For me this is the struggle that we as men all should be involved in for all our children (boys and girls).

i'm pretty sure j.k.rowling herself said dumbledore was gay. huh.

::

on a more positive note,

i hadn't realised Changing Attitude Ireland had changed their website. i encourage folks to walk with them at the 2009 Belfast Pride parade on Saturday 1st August. i was very glad i joined their ranks for the 08 parade and stood alongside church reps who hold no truck with the kind of stuff outlined above...




must get on with some dull necessities and wave my parentals goodbye, who are armed with gifts and bound for Ontario to visit the fam...

hey ho

LB

beyond abstraction

i've spent much of the morning thinking through and writing some thoughts in the aftermath of the death of dr tiller.
for the second time in a month i had received contact from someone asking for my thoughts related to abortion. both openings for conversation came from people i care about, both far away, and whose perspectives in conversation are always not only welcome, but valued, for their substantive and typically compassionate intelligence. and yet, i am struck at how challenging it is when, at such distance, you can't have such conversation in bodily presence, even with folks who know something of the measure of one's heart.

for that very reason, i remain unsure if i am comfortable exploring my views here on the blog, despite having given a lot of committed thought to it of late, (along with the Ryan Report, which is no less troubling), such is the deep sensitivity of the issue. i cannot read your body language and you cannot read mine and we do not necessarily know one another's story.

i am deeply conscious that when i go back to academia in the autumn this will be a curriculum issue for class discussion and probably one of the only feminist conversations i feel actively cautious about having to engage in - such is the need for that sensitivity, especially when one does not know the stories of those with whom one will be expected to debate.

but i will go so far as to say, i think these three offerings are worthy of our time and our consideration... i believe we need a lot more of this kind of nuanced and measured approach in the public square, where up to now there has been so much violent and hate-filled speech:

frank shaeffer on rachel maddow show
andrew sullivan on keith olbermann
and

regina spektor's laughing with - which Pád independently sent me as i was writing my thoughts and, although nothing to do with the issue, it was some kind of artistic salve.

in the aftermath of dr tiller's murder, i find myself once again praying for humility and wisdom - in my listening as well as in my speaking.

i have only once before (briefly) mentioned abortion in these pages. as i said then, it does not occur in a vacuum. and nor do our values or beliefs. or our lives.

LB

"terror is easier to face than confusion", he said

i've been reading the analysis of dick cheney's speech to the AEI last week. wondering at the horror of the torture committed in afghanistan, abu ghraib and guantanamo. at the attempts to justify it, deny it.

and feeling powerless despair. we call it inhumane. but it was humans who did it. authourised it. legal-eased it. and there seems nothing but silence with which to respond. wordless in the face of images indicting us with just how far we humans will go to prove our might, our power, our authority, our triumph over the will of another. and as we rob the other of their dignity, strip it, beat it, break it, we lose our own...

i think of my infant nephew and feel the conflict of welcoming him into this world. for there is goodness and beauty but there is so much else besides. so many whose lives are marked by sadness, pain, suffering, horror. for whom this place is hell. i see the images of naked men, hooded, taunted by dogs, leashed, bound, and i think of this tiny boy starting out on his journey and wonder at what he will make of this world. wondering at what his life will be for... and if we can only tell him and his sister that we are present to a kingdom of beauty if we look the other way....

i think of the persisting scandal in the british parliament threatening to topple a government and i think of the abuse of so many at the hands of the irish church, of mass rape and mutilation of girls in Africa, which ilke enhanced interrogation appears to threaten no one. i can't help but wonder that the expenses scandal is but distraction. and matters more to people because it came out of their pocket but does not affect their conscience. it's perhaps not ethic that drives us but (love of) money. ethic should not be found on a sliding scale but this seems disproportionately scandalous... perhaps we choose our outrage by what we are willing to face. by what we are willing to pay attention to.

and in truth i fear all this is little more than a distraction from other things more personal that are pressing in unexpectedly and rubbing at wounds i thought i'd moved past. i feel the all too familiar claustrophobia setting in and i've been struggling not to resort to counting the hours 'til i can run. retreat to safer soil and be away from the triggers currently setting off tiny explosions of grief. it's not funny how the total degradation of strangers never cuts quite as sharp as the mere slights of others against us. even the words and actions we choose to see as slights, whether intended as such or not. and usually not.

but it feels upsetting to feel oneself regressing and in need of retreat. especially when surrounded by lovely, beautiful people. and then grace comes in and i don't know what to do with it either. feeling close to the brink, with it all caught up in my chest, trying to mask the twist of feelings keeping me from breathing easy...

i got to be at tuesday group last night. the unexpected chance to see mo and lynn's soft smiles was balm. we sat and read tobit chapters 3 and 4. tobit and sarah both pray to YHWH to have their lives taken from them, believing it better to be dead than bear the insults of others. both pushed to the brink by scorn and shame. and like them, i pray. in tears. because sometimes tears are the best prayers we have next to silence. i pray perhaps not for death, but for release from shame and anger and hurt.

when i touch the tiny wooden cross at my throat, i think, this is what we do... and i am no different than the rest...

LB

lots of dark, tiny signs of light

bit of laundry list this. stuff that caught my eye and ear inbetween to-ing and fro-ing... i'd write more on what i've been thinking on all of this but the tops of my fore and middle fingers on my left hand had an accidental encounter with a razor blade and so typing is proving awkward.

from the daily dish:
i've gone back to this video several times. an arresting juxtaposition of happy people and angry voices...

li wei's amazing *not photoshopped* images:


















After Wars, Mass Rape Exists an important highlighting of an issue that has had pitifully little attention given its severity. and a not uncontroversial report by Nicholas Kristof in the NYT of the same - the comments are provocative.

it's been a troubling week for being part of Christendom on this part of the world...
there's good coverage of the 'gay debate' at the Church of Scotland's general asssembly over at sunday sequence and william's blog, including the big question that now hangs over CofS's daughter church, the presbyterian church in ireland. none of it entices me to return to the fold of the denomination.

sunday sequence yesterday gave most of the programme, unsurprisingly, to the 3000 page report on child abuse in the Catholic church in ireland published last week. the debate: will there be justice for victims? made for powerful and at times deeply uncomfortable listening.

i had a job a few years back typing up statements from victims of abuse in church run institutions. i'm not sure there's ever going to be anything to say as adequate response to the horrific history brought unequivocally into the light. the challenge lies in what should be done, rather than said, in response. with two more reports yet to come this summer, the role of, and extent of power given to, the roman catholic church in irish society is now severely under question.

on a (perhaps, slightly) more positive note, william had a very interesting conversation with susie orbach last Sunday about her new book, Bodies. the interview is no longer there but there's an Observer review here.

LB

everything was beautiful & nothing hurt*

2 pieces of video...

first, the footage of a girl being flogged by Taliban fighters in Pakistan, which left me this morning in horror and feeling speechless. i had no idea what words to respond with and still don't now. and certainly not any that are non-violent in spirit right at this moment.

second is this, over at the daily dish. andrew sullivan is bringing up to the minute coverage today of the extremely important iowa and vermont rulings on gay marriage. but this video stands out, as does his commentary.

it's all got something to do with rights and human dignity and justice. but the world keeps turning...

:: and so it goes :: *

LB

*slaughterhouse-five tattoos