been there, done that, bought the t-shirt

life is what happens when you should be blogging.
needless to say: life is good. it'd take an age to tell you what i've been up to. so busy. but it's good and fun and creative and i feel energised. also scared shitless. but coping.

keep sending me your recs for my anonymous friend who wants a cool cd collection. she is very excited.

i'm being well taken care of and daring to allow myself to let it happen.

tomorrow night some of the crew in this neighbourhood head to the theatre to see the vagina monologues being performed by some queen's university drama students. this will be quite a night for some of the gang. let's just say the conversations in the pub of late have been getting very interesting.

speaking of the pub. last night. jazz at the kitchen bar. i just happened to be wearing my t-shirt that says, this is what a feminist looks like. willow got excited cause she has same one in pink. chat ensued and i forgot i was wearing it.
later. at bar. ordering a couple of drinks. barman says in an extremely irritating tone that let me know he thought he was being really clever and that implied without question that i needed to be put in my place for just one moment, "is it alright if i get you that order or should i find a woman to do it". i didn't follow and asked him to repeat it wondering where the hell this was coming from. he did and pointed to the slogan across my chest. ah. the penny drops.
i rolled my eyes and gave him a smile that managed to be both bored and unimpressed. as ricky was to point out, in Mulder-esque dead pan, "this guy really understands the subtler points of feminism". what i muttered under my breath as said barman chuckled away to himself while pouring the drinks is, however, not repeatable.

ticket bought for the frames on 20 december in ulster hall. aforementioned mr mcquillan is also in receipt of a ticket. he's just getting into the frames and i'm almost jealous of someone getting the first time experience. duke special in support too. can it get any better. GREAT balcony seats right over the stage. it's gonna be an amazing night. let's hope there's some collaboration.

here's a little treat for yas, ewan found this link: http://framesaver.tripod.com/framesaver.htm

wrap up warm folks. two days til we can expect the snow. (rubs hands gleefully)

LB,x

take me on. . .again

click the title above for a rather amusing and extremely clever animation manipulation. . .a new take on ::take on me::

i guess you'd call this an animation mash up

:0)

in dreams you were laughing

so. happy birthday to my dearest jude. may she have what she called, "a significant yet non-fatal ministry" in this her 33rd year. let's all do a sufjan style cheer for her. or at least do that cute finger wave thang. i love you girl. ::you rock. my world:: thank you for being such a star through everything. your voice on the end of the phone has got me through many a dark day. i look forward to the celebrations to come. mwah!

thanks to debs for her enthusiastic commenting (see below). the anonoymous one was a neat trick. quite threw me for a moment. . . .anyways, i look forward to a sing-in. with a growly rendition of ::rain::
next i need someone to learn ::red chord:: by the frames.
debs, if you are free on saturday. . .actually i'll PM you about that. . .

all others - check out deb's blog, which by sheer coincidence i asked páidraig to pass on to me a couple of days again. deb and i must be on the same wavelength. either that or we need to meet again soon. which for those who've never witnessed it is like a cocktail of coke and speed. we get easily excited about stuff. canadians rule.

now. i have a job for you good folks:

someone who has begged me not to reveal their identity has confessed that they own virtually no cds. could i recommend some to build up a collection? not to ever do anything half heartedly, i said i'd come up with a list - appropriate to their tastes but also to push their boundaries with confidence. this person is female. born in 1974. has enjoyed listening to the following to which she has been introduced to by hearing me play it. . .

rufus
ryan adams - like me adores "love is hell part one"
aimee mann
the frames' quieter stuff
the carpenters (of which she has always been a fan)
duke special
ulrich schnauss
iain archer
dennison witmer
sufjan

she clearly likes stuff with a strong melody. and an uplifting poignancy. i doubt i'll ever get her rocking out to RATM or metallica. but one of these days we'll sure as hell try!

i'm thinking she's gonna love:
carole king's tapestry
james taylor
damien rice
emmylou harris
fleetwood mac
joni mitchell
board of canada
air
oh, so much stuff . . .

but, this needs to be organised.
at first i thought pick a few albums from every year from '74 to '05. but that may be too restrictive. do i build a family tree? or go buy when to play and in what setting?

key request is wanting a nice slection for dinner parties and when friends are over for drinks. also she drives every day. so we need some good stuff for the car.
then there's her saturdays in the house doing the chores. and those days when you get in from work and need to just bliss out.

SO MUSOS: thoughts, suggestions, work plans, spreadsheets all greatly appreciated. nothing too avant garde please.

a treat -
live frames downloads. . .ewan says you might need a codec for them, whatever the hell that means. . .
Minneapolis - http://www.archive.org/audio/etree-details-db.php?id=23572
Chicago - http://www.archive.org/audio/etree-details-db.php?id=30392
Philly - http://www.archive.org/audio/etree-details-db.php?id=23573

sorry, listening to ::plateau:: here in the office and am feeling overwhelmed. . .must be the hormones. 'scuse me. i need a moment. ::star star**:: is next. it's gonna get messy. . . this is dance the devil. it always does.

later,

with fondest affection,

and thanksgiving to never needing to go a day without being held and made to feel lovable, and for the grace in the holding to know that that is an overwhelming experience that one needs to learn to relax into. . .

c. x

now we have slept . . .

when i grow up i think i'd like to be aimee mann.

nothing quite like sharing your favourite music with another. my office mate claire is loving
mann's voice as it spils out across our desks and surrounds our busyness with a languid desperation. . .sweet.

so, from my most loved album of 2002 (mann's lost in space) here's my favourite track. actually, as soon as i say that i feel sorry for all the great tracks i have rejected in the process of having a favouirte. this album ROCKS. no collection should be without it. the whole thing is a work of raw beauty. and in recollecting whispers from a conversation of the weekend, if we can only hope there will be enough beauty to heal us, then this is a could be a place to start. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INVISIBLE INK

There comes a time when you swim or sink
So I jumped in the drink
Cuz I couldn't make myself clear

Maybe I wrote in invisible ink
Oh I've tried to think
How I could have made it appear

But another illlustration is wasted
Cuz the results are the same
I feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands
over some Ouija board in the hopes I can spell out my name

What some take for magic at first glance
Is just sleight of hand depending on what you believe
Something gets lost when you translate
It's hard to keep straight
Perspective is everything

And I know now which is which and what angle I oughta look at it from
I suppose I should be happy to be misread-
Better be that than some of the other things I have become

But nobody wants to hear this tale
The plot is clichéd, the jokes are stale
And baby we've all heard it all before
Oh i could get specific but
Nobody needs a catalog
With details of love I can't sell anymore

And aside from that, this chain of reaction,
baby, is losing a link
Though I'd hope you'd know what I tried to tell you
And if you don't I could draw you a picture in invisible ink

But nobody wants to hear this tale
The plot is clichéd, the jokes are stale
And baby we've all heard it all before
Oh i could get specific but
Nobody needs a catalog
With details of love I can't sell anymore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you can get details of her new album at her official site.
i'm gonna purchase the forgotten arm in toron'o - cause that's where i bought lost in space. . .nice to have these li'l traditions.it's the little things that are the big things.

salaam.
c, x.

i'll show you mine. . .

not much to look at yet but i am still excited that i own my own domain name. . . so here's mine. the anticipation of seeing phil's design is almost too much to bear. you can see his lovely work as a designer here and also here and here. too talented for words. i am more humbled than i can say.

had a wonderful friday painting in the studio. helped by a lovely long lunch with susan and jayne.
lots of highest quality women chat. was fab. can't wait to get back and continue my latest piece. the whole experience is extremely liberating and empowering. i can't recommend highly enough living your journey with a paint brush in hand. and seeing jayne at work is proundly inspirational. she is one seriously talented gal.

also on friday, saw the constant gardener. well worth seeing. beautifully shot. beautiful chemistry.

oh, this was fun: thursday night saw the Shy Teds, of which i am one, win the weekly pub quiz in whyte's tavern. not only did that gain us a crate of beer but we also won a free round of drinks for getting the highest score in the science and nature round. having a biology professor on team may have helped. specialist subject was john hughes' movies. we did our research. great night. next week's specialist round is hitchcock movies. sweeeeeet. i am something of a fan. researching this will, again, be a treat. colour me a ::geek::

finally, please see here for Mojji's website.

have a wonderful weekend. celebrate the ones you're with. life's too damn short to do otherwise.

consider yourself hugged.

nite, x

i look around me and i see it isn't so . . .

this is the laziest entry ever. sorry to the timebeing folks who stop by here - nothing new for you today. . .

before the days of blogging my ::time wasting:: was in large part spent emailing on a listserve called timebeing. i am still a member but these days i rarely contribute due to said blog. this week we are submitting our music reviews of the year based on top 5 albums. as is my usual want, i flouted the short list method and offered something a little more expansive and explanatory, which has much to do with the people as the music.

so, this is me in full swing evangelical mode. or, me at my most gratitudinal.

May Hashem make me truly thankful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" so. gar:

slightly abusing the top 5 rule because that's waaay too confining. . . :0)

no 1 artist of the year: sufjan. fave album - illinoise. fave tracks - decatur, peoria, john wayne casey jrn, illinois, chicago, etc etc etc. heck the whole thing.

who stole my heart from:

rufus w.'s "want 2". recently used agnus dei as accompaniament for a community 'communion' - i thoroughly recommend you try it. shivers.

best driving album of the year: the killers' Hot stuff. highlight: the 80s riff in On Top. closely followed by the top gun soundtrack provided by gareth for my birthday. closely followed by prince's greatest hits and bond theme tunes compilation - again thanks to gareth. serious bonding over carly simon's nobody does it better. sweet.

just getting into: ben fold's latest. growing on me.

BOARDS OF CANADA. 'cause everyone needs a bosom for a pillow.

older album that i heard for first time and totally rocked my world: ryan adams' love is hell (part one) - if it wasn't beginning of 2005 it was very end of 2004 but we won't be picky

albums i heard a lot, should've got into more but will probably rediscover later and love as my own: arcade fire and the shins

and rather bizarrely, album being played most lovingly at present: iain archer's playing dead, which certain quarters of the ikon community are having a refound love affair with. it is being found to be most conducive to healing sunday morning hangovers accompanied by jj's market lavaza espresso provided by geoff (he's a complete star) collins for community sharing. and what makes it is that a load of didn't know each other all those years ago but we all know all the words and it makes us feel like we go back a lot further. seriously sweet memory making is opening up in droves. totally unironic. nice offset to our unwitting and apparent dark reputation as the enfant terrible of the emerging church. :0)

album that i can't identify but was a lovely blessing - was a fab jazz compilation mark mcccleary had via julie lee i think. made for sumptuous dinner accompaniament in Provence.

album that got most reaction from listeners: paul anka's rock swings. see gareth's list. thanks to ewan for supplying.

most important musical decade of 2005: 1980s. an unironic embracing of generation x youthful nostalgia. see above and below.

professional gigs of the year:

1. duke special at the empire. wednesday 26/11 (i tihnk). magical. support act- david ford. song highlight: state of the union. i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. plus, new duke song that left me close to tears: LOST

2. sufjan at spring and airbrake. a pep rally for g*d. if church was like that i'd be an elder.

3. emeliana torrini at greenbelt. breathtaking. mcccleary and i were like proverbial pigs. g*d bless the big screen.

4. iain archer at derrivolgie. his use of that loop machine thingy was ace. also amazed by the fast emperors. way too young to be that damn good.

live amateur musical highlight of the year:

a tie. same night. two gems that sent shivers down the spine of everyone at padraig's 80s party. over a dozen covers to choose from. but 2 stood out as going beyond well performed kareoke for fun:

1. chris fry's acousitc slow version of madonna's like a virgin with tim millen on accordian. and 2. ricky mcquillan's version of cutting crew's (i just) died in your arms. both took classics and made them their own. a masterclass in covers.

and of course, padraig's ::ikon goes von trapp:: dinner parties. way too many highlights to mention. a collective becomes community becomes family.

THE gig i wish i'd been at: the frames in toronto. october. glenn hansard talks to audience about the influence of bible in his life. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tragedy: death of my ipod. (i am grieving in cold turkey. and it hurts.)

finally - album i'm most intrigued to hear: madonna's latest. everyone's talking aobut the single, which has so far evaded my ears.

way too long as ever. . .but i've been quiet for a while so i'm making up for it."

it's not alphabetical. . . no. . . . it's not chronolgocial. . .no . . . it's auto-bio-graphical.

LB x.

don't forget to breath. . .

yesterday was a bit overwhelming. haven't really had a chance to process it all yet. have a distinct sense of trying to catch up with my emotional state, which persists in leaping ahead of me in a fashion of the gazelle. (although maybe not the one in song of songs.)
needless to say, one of the overwhelming elements was being offered the possibility of a new role in work, funding permitting. all quite exciting: more responsibility, money, creativity and bigger goals.

so until such time as i can figure out how to express the multitude of different emotions of which i am in pursuit - here's a nice quote i stumbled upon today while googling for something else. there is no such thing as coincidence. (there are several of you who will smile because this fits our recent conversations on creativity and finding your voice.)

We have to look at our own inertia, insecurities, self-hate, fear that, in truth, we have nothing valuable to say. When your writing blooms out of the back of this garbage compost, it is very stable. You are not running from anything. You can have a sense of artistic security. If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you. - NATALIE GOLDBERG

message for gail, willow, jayne, dani, keli h:
i just ordered 4 copies of the vagina monologues at amazon market place at absurdly low prices. plus a copy of eve ensler's stage production on dvd.

i'll be in touch to organise a cocktail fuelled ladeez night for viewing and discussing.

let the fun and activism begin. now, gimme a 'g'. . .no on seconds thoughts, gimme a 'C'.

x

congratulations. . .

wedding photos here

sorry to have missed it. looks like a great celebration.

i've written the gals a reflection. with their approval i'll post it here.

x.

sorrow and love flow mingled down

Pádraig was really struck by the juxtaposition of these lyrics on saturday night. So here they are. Pád sang the first and Ricky and Gail the second. needless to say, it was spine-tingling. . . and i was uncharacteristically speechless.

Kirsty - your use of the word dreich made me beam and my my scots blood quiver.

much love to all. keep it real friends. ::this is not a rehearsal and we have nothing to lose but our pride::
cary. x

Jude - this is for you . . .x

Van Diemen's Land

Hold me now, oh hold me now
'til this hour has gone around
And I'm gone on the rising tide
For to face Van Diemen's land

It's a bitter pill I swallow here
To be rent from one so dear
We fought for justice and not for gain
But the magistrate sent me away

Now kings will rule and the poor will toil
And tear their hands as they tear the soil
But a day will come in this dawning age
When an honest man sees an honest wage

Hold me now, oh hold me now
'til this hour has gone around
And I'm gone on the rising tide
For to face Van Diemen's land

When i survey the Wondrous Cross

 When I survey the wondrous cross
 on which the Prince of Glory died;
 my richest gain I count but loss,
 and pour contempt on all my pride.

 Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
 save in the death of Christ, my God;
 all the vain things that charm me most,
 I sacrifice them to his blood.

 See, from his head, his hands, his feet,
 sorrow and love flow mingled down.
 Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
 or thorns compose so rich a crown.

 Were the whole realm of nature mine,
 that were an offering far too small;
 love so amazing, so divine,
 demands my soul, my life, my all. 

gimme a V . . .

three pm and the sky is darkening, the wind is picking up and rain is threatening . . . but nothing can take away from the sheer beauty of this morning with its crisp dry november air in a bright blue sunshiney sky. even the death of my iPod could not take away from the delight that swept over my daily walk from botanic up through queen's, along elmwood and onto the lisburn road. there's nothing quite like having a genuine spring in your quirky shod step.

check out a beauty of a website with music here
thanks to Ricky for spreading the peace, love and good taste. if my own website looks a tenth as lovely as that one then i shall be one happy gal.

since she's vying to get a mention in these pages, lemme tell you about the marvellous ::Willow::
she and i are cooking up a plan for a theatrical fundraising event in early 2006. no more details yet but suffice to say, if we pulled it off, it would mark one of my life achievements as being fulfilled. watch this space for more on the plan and more about the intelligent beauty of the lovely Willow herself.

social life update: this past weekend was amazing. there was a post-dinner 'session' (drink + guitar + singing) at clonard rise on saturday. half ten we started. guitar finally got set aside at half three. i was gonna tell you all about it but i'm choking up at the thought of it. it'll go down as one of the best nights of 2005.
when ricky played the opening chords of dignity by deacon blue i think my heart might actually have stopped. Pádraig had never heard it before. (i KNOW!) so. we set him right. ::f*ckin' A:: from there on in i was happy as a pig in the proverbial.
+++++++++++++
try this at home:
Pád lead us in a fab melody of U2's Van diemen's Land - when i survey the wondrous cross - house of the rising sun - there is a green hill far away.
and another that went from tracy chapman's talking bout a revolution into tracks of my tears with a dash of tears of a clown thrown in and then on into love is strange.
+++++++++++++
so many amazing moments where it all just worked so well. there was even a sufjan rendition. but that's too good a memory to share just yet. i don't wanna let it go.
sunday was spent in various stages of hangover - much of time over coffee with the ::sex and the city brunch:: gang in clements. to be nursed in the bosom of your community is a blessed thing.

i know that there's a whole loada crap going on out there in the world that's needing attention. but sometimes you just gotta sing.



hello to all my gals out there. ya know who you are. . . ::you rock. my world::

now, ladeez - gimme an "a"

x.

where the magenta meets the green

well, way too much to say and not enough time. i hope at the weekend to find the space to get a load more stuff down. yesterday was intense. actually it's been an intense few days.

the collage on canvas, which will morph into a website, was finally handed over to phil last night. i am somewhat at a loss to describe the unveiling, which ended up being to ricky and paul. paul's a pyschotherapist by trade as well as an amazing performance poet and that was rather scary. thank G*d he left quickly. not sure i want to say anything more about it at this juncture. other than it was confessional, soul bearing and intensely vulnerable.

tommorrow i go into the studio with jayne and start exploring. so much stuff to process. so much to learn about the craft. but i am excited as i am petrified.

You can view the Mojji series here: http://www.photoblog.be/photoblog.php?nickname=MOJJI&action=view&id=1607756. jonny - consider yourself ::blinked::

i'm off to eat. i'll say more later.
needless to say, consider yoself hugged.

LB, x