::Click:: here for a very important message

if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention. . .
::Click:: film launches tonight at 19:58 across the UK tv channels and online at 20:00
if you haven't already done so, please join the campaign.

A complete loser . . .a public apology

Andrea. I miss you and i don't show it. . . fwiw, belated happy birthday. . . forgive my constant failure to consistently connect. You are too special for words. but brave, gracious, inspiring and beautiful come to mind. love you, dear friend. keep on rocking. x

(thanks to Pip Wilson for using the line ::touching fingertips:: in a very recent email and thus unintentionally and inadvertantly kicking me up the arse where this thoroughly neglected and sadly long distance friendship is concerned)

Snapshot memories . . .

Valerie et moi. She's a keeper.
(Feb 2005, thanks to Kristen for sharing)

Good times. Good friends.

I had the flu. Hence the excessive scarving.
(Kristen, LoserBaby, Michael, Claire - Feb 2005)

Lunch was at the Lamplighter Inn

That's on Highway 2. Near Lewis Fork.

Oh how the days trip by when you're not paying attention.
So. What's new?

Easter weekend was beautifully surprising in a quiet gentle way but i have strained or pulled something in my neck which has made working on the computer a complete pain the well, neck. So for the brief few minutes i can bear to type - i'll count my blessings rather than complain. . .

The good stuff of the past five days:
1. ikon: the third mile was lovely and warm and very loose and i danced my rocks off for an hour with Pádraig.
2. superb chat with Reuben which restored my faith in telephonic communication
3. tuesday group watched David Lynch's The Straight Story
4. Michael popped his Twin Peak's cherry (pie? - see title above for a great link)
5. lots of nice emails from lovely people i don't see often enough, namely andrea, alfred, kirsty, kristen (with photos - see above. . .)
6. wonderful dinner party chez Mark last night .
7. got my ikon biog for the website finished (only 15 months late)
8. texting with Ricky
9. email from Ewan
10. flights to GB05 are booked.


The cool stuff ahead:
1. plans are afoot for a loverly girls reunion in edinburgh in June
2. dani returns from australia in two days - champagne breakfast is planned
3. reuben is on the cards for an upcoming ikon - can't say any more for now but getting rather giddy at the thought of it
4. showing Cabaret sometime soon at ikon film night
5. going to try and get an ikon cynidicate blog going
6. rufus wainwright - waterfront hall - 18 may. need i say more?
7. looks like we may be able to tempt Jude to visit at end of April. pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.
8. i start full time at PA on Monday.

blessings abound.

x.

i heard there was a secret chord . . .

a story of two guys named david d:

Well i guess there's no going back . . .
david dark advertised my blog at the deeply invigorating and encouraging sarahmasen.com message board - hit the title above to view it. easter resolution is to hit the site daily as well as blog something here. at that site you will find info on david's books. go! read! as a result of david's promotional activity, i received a comment from the homelessguy. i don't think he knows this but i sleep each night with one of kevin's photographic pieces hanging right beside my head.

thanks for the encouragement david.

and regarding encouragement, this time to another david d, in trying to think of how to express the ridiculous surprise of this redemptive day it seemed appropriate to share the following. past couple of weeks i've been checking out the david duchovny's blog at the lion's gate site. after considerable humming and hawing i posted a comment. only those that know me personally will know the significance of this and to those who do i'll say - as soon as i'm back to working only one job (two weeks or so), i'm gonna hit the ground running with the book. no more arsing about with writer's block. michael actually shouted at me the other week in a fit of spousal frustration that i should be writing, and so shocked was that he raised his voice and gesticulated wildly at his desire to see me put pen to paper that i'm gonna do it if only to reduce his blood pressure. i'll keep ya posted on the progress. (secret dream scenario - i get to interview both dd's for the book)

so anyway, where was i. yes: the other dd. so reading his blog there were some remarkable and beautiful thoughts therein and so what better to do than throw some encouragement his way. having chatted with my screenplay writing buddy Alfred, i was struck time and again by the awesome bravery and vulnerabilty of making a film where you want to say something of worth and real value. so at this page, buried in amongst the reams of giggling blushing girlie cheese a little over half way down the page is a little bit of buechner-inspired encouragment, complete with those annoying format gliches. my post. to dd. it was posting this that required me to create a blog myself. i'm pretty sure somewhere in the post you'll find a sarah masen lyric. sometimes you've just gotta be brave.

Off to bake bread for tonight's ikon ::The Third Mile::
Following on from last month's ::Queer:: and the commitment to be bubble wrap to one another in commmunity, we're exploring Love as an extravagant and excessive act of will.

i did my best, it wasn't much
i couldn't feel but i tried to touch
i've told the truth, i didn't come to fool ya
and even though it all went wrong
i'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my breath but
Halllelujah!

x.

Black Saturday: God is Dead . . .

and He descended into hell. How easily we seem to avoid the horror, the darkness, the emptiness, the absence of this waiting. . .how can we claim to celebrate the narrative of redemption when we excise the story of its unknowing, of its utter despair.

Point of inspiration - A beautiful SMS message from Chris Fry, as follows. . .

"God is dead. The old is passing away. Let us wait with hope, long without succour, and weep without comfort. Discard both memory and desire. Maybe yet we can by truly surprised."


Point of inspiration - For a parable written by Pete Rollins pass your mouse over the title above. At the ikon site, go to the Reflections section. The appropriate piece is called Holy Saturday.


Point of inspiration - From the source of so much inspiration this past winter, Buechner, comes the following lines, which I used for ikon's "Eloi, Eloi" service at Greenbelt 04.

"The absence of God is not just an idea to conjure with, an emptiness for the preacher to try and furnish, like a house, with chair and sofa, heat and light, to make it livable. The absence of God is just that which is not livable. . .

Jesus shares with us the darkness of what it is to be without God as well as showing forth the glory of what it is to be with God. He speaks about it, and perhaps that is much of why, although we have not followed him very well these past two thousand years or so, we have never quite been able to stop listening to him. We listen almost in spite of ourselves when he tells us the ship is sinking with all hands aboard. All of you labour and are heavy laden, he says.
It is an appalling thing to tell us when we are trying so hard to pretend that it is not so . . .

The world hides God from us, or we hide ourselves from God, or for reasons of his own God hides himself from us, but however you acocunt for it, he is often more conspicuous by his absence than his presence, and his absence is much of what we labour under and are heavy laden by. Just as sacramental theology speaks of a doctrine of the Real Presence, maybe it should also speak of a doctrine of the the Real Absence, because absence can be sacramental too, a door left open, a chamber of the heart kept ready and waiting. " *

We are the waiting unknown . . .

x.

* Taken from Frederick Buechner's "Telling the Truth: the Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairytale". My continued appreciation to Liz and Brett for adding this to our collection. I would now trade the entire wall of books for this one text. Profoundly inspiring, it has shaken my entire being on its axis. BUY IT HERE.

Good Friday

Okay. So here goes with entry #2.

Am getting a tattoo. Sat with a coffee this morning in the armchair and the morning sun breaking through the clouds and played around with a string of ideas until i struck on the combination i want for what will be a band around the front of my left bicep. can't work out how to show the design here but if you read it aloud, you'd say "alpha YHWH AMOR omega".

it'll be in classic latin lettering and there'll be some dots separating each element. tried the hebrew but it just wasn't working symmetry wise. i may yet add a symbol (greek cross?) between the divine name and amor.

i'll post a photo once it's healed and ready for display.

Roll on 11am, saturday 9th april. Yikes!

Just saw the celtic lion tattoo design from the Book of Kells as worn by Angel (as in Buffy's Angel). Me likey. Michael is thinking of getting a tribal image having admired many at a conference he's been at this past week. i may join him.

see a new addiction just around the corner? oh yeah.

Inspiration point of the day, thanks to Rufus Wainwright:

Agnus Dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Dona nobis pacem

(May this be a very good Friday)

x.

Picture this.

it's a photo. 'nuff said.

here goes. . .

Nothin' ventured, nothin' gained.
tried to set up a blog at Christmas. promptly forgot all aobut it and i think it got wiped for lack of use.
so here we go again.
to be honest, i only set this up so i could post a message in a forum. didn't actually intend to start up a blog myself.
but apparantly pip wilson might read it. so what better incentive for chugging out some of the stuff rattling around in my head.
guess i better go tell someone i have a blog.

G'night Jim Bob. x