patience
patience.
invisible fingers are intermittently drumming on a table in the back of mind until such time as :an x i'll mark: goes live...slivers of birthing and coming out...wanna get past the waiting and be able to say, "i made this. da da DA. dada daddle da DAAAA."
feel like i can't move on til it's done. want to to do more. say more. feel more. express more.
::
teaser
got an incredible surprise yesterday. made me wanna skip and leap and do cartwheels in the street. made me wanna chirp and clap my hands.
waaaaay back when last autumn, phil h. volunteered to sire me a website. with genes this good it was a must do. we registered the domain and the wait began. he's a talented father and i told myself to relax into a long gestation period, knowing the offer of his skills was worth a dose of patience...
so, here's my rambling reaction from the home page viewing...
getting a site designed is kinda like having your portrait painted, or having a new house designed by an architect. you get to say, this is what i like, this is who i am right now, this is what inspires me, but you are letting another tell you how they see you...
the mood treatment board i gave phil at the start of the process was a dark smouldering canvas... it expressed how i felt in the moment... the part of me that was dressed in velvet, lips whetted with port shots. it had the mood of a bordello... but it also featured photographs of my friends sitting on cushions in padraig's kitchen by candlelight... spoke to the cocoon i needed... and greeness coming up around the edges...in a dark place, the promise of hope... it was all about contrasts...
you can't live in peace staying drunk in a bordello and out of that dark space i began a journey to find a refind a me that is happiest curled up on the sofa or sitting under the blossom at the cafe surrounded by familiar voices sipping specials and feeling loved and wanting to connect with the joy and beauty of the folks in whose midst i spin...
he's painted that kind of LoserBaby, created a space that feels friendly, relaxed, chilled out but with just the right dose of cheeky word play...yesterday he presented me the design he's been playing with... quirky, shades of a soft genX 50s retro cool, battered sneaker girlie rather than saccharine...just a touch of sexy in a :you're wearing jeans that are hanging off ya and an old t-shirt that's worn and soft: kinda way...colourful but not gaudy...clean and tidy but not cold or clinical... it's just damned lovely... the kind of place i wanna hang out in with a cuppa coffee and then stay for a cosmo or three...where we'll forego household chores for a while cause someone's picked up a guitar... where we bring our tearss but we'll not let them define us...
colour me in kelly green and a touch of pillar box red, shimmying with excitment and gratitude... soon :the laundry room: will be open for business...LoserBaby's gonna have her own home and the door will be open to all...it'll bring a whole new meaning to washing your dirty linen in public...
so. unexpected but by no means unwelcome work for today is coming up with section titles...i'm gonna let my mind float while i play with ma clay...
::
6 days to gb06.
much to be done. must get this arse movin'.
LB,x
(title is stolen from an old dd blog posting. a cool expression of burgeoning hope and creativity. i'm gonna use that. somewhere. and soon.)
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