like a sacred heart, or a code that cracked

i'm tired tonight... my sleep pattern is, well, fucked quite frankly...

i so need to get myself into a better routine...i seem to recall saying back in the dark ages of 2005 :i am so out of routine, it's routine: well, here we go again. ack. something's gotta give...

after a productive and hilarious ikon meeting in which we took delight in coming up with... ah, no, think i'll save it...

where was i? yes, went with jayne, ricky and cazi (ikon's newest team member) on a last minute trip to lisburn having unexpectedly got on the guest list for the sold out duke special gig. thanks jayne, thanks duke.
it was in a theatre setting. no drinks, bar water, allowed in the venue. audience seemed to be full of a certain type of christian. the girls were all pretty dressed up. there was lots of lip gloss and perfect hair. the guys were all indistinguishable. all a bit stepford. i was in my usual slouchy workwear and suddenly i felt like a slob pulled through a hedge backwards. oh well, love is found on the inside as good old mark koselek sings...dunno why i should let that kind of thing bother me. not like i would have wanted to be dressed any differently given the choice.

strangest thing was that nobody moved. audience was frozen in their seats. i find it near impossible to not move a body part or 10 when there's music playing, even when sitting down... i've seen more movement in a cinema...anyways... rant over.

that said the sound was amazing and the guys were tight as anything...got to hear a lot more detail in the orchestration than at the gigs in the empire(including some incredible clarinet playing) and hear every lyric... and what struck me (admittedly not for the first time, but with raw poignancy) was how painfully sad so many of the lyrics are...ballad of a broken man was heartwrenching... and no cover up very nearly broke me in two...

i found the whole thing both strange and moving...none of the usual whacked out drunken celebratory euphoria of other shows...

sitting in the back of the car on the way home, it was only fear of a broken neck by seatbelt that stopped me from curling up in the foetal position and weeping while ricky played iPod dj, so i just pressed my forehead to the glass and quietly sang along...

::
sullivan street (live) - counting crows
love is a series of scars - duke special
somewhere over the rainbow - eva cassidy
lay me down - the frames
::

gonna lay me down and see if i can't find me some peaceful dreams...some nights you just gently ache to have someone curl themselves around you in silence and keep you warm...

LB,x