still standing

well, a heavy auld day comes to a blessed close, but the evening was not without its blessings - in fact it was a string of 'em and all rather unexpected it was too...

i was reminded that friendship at its best is often marked by the ability of another to offer care without either party needing to say a word. sometimes the strength of presence is all that is needed, the care of a single strong hand on a shaking frame is enough to bring safety in the midst of grief and failing courage.

i had my first ever taste of seafood pizza. not only that, it had anchovies on it. i've never had an anchovy before. in light of the choc-ice phenomena -- this was rather gung-ho, but since i was eating it while on my first, and rather impromtu, visit to my new home with the mullingtons and their parentals... in for a penny, in for a pound. sitting in the soon-to-be dinning room it was a moment in which it felt fitting to let myself stretch my boundaries a little. a little spontaneous attempt at reinvention. needless to say, they are unlikely to become a staple part of my diet, but anchovies are actually edible. whaddya know.

i saw the room that for the next while will be my nest for sleeping. from the window i can see either samson or goliath towering above the docks - i'll have to investigate, i don't know which one of them it is - and beyond that the hills on the far side of the city... it's a good view. and i have my first wrought iron bed. and an open fireplace with mantle. it's a nice room. i'll be painting it this weekend - i hope that might be a positive starting over experience. right now the walls are bright orange. not such a good look. the previous owner has made some interesting 'colourful' choices of decor. painting parties are already being planned.

a highlight was the study on the ground floor. we walked in, i gasped and stu said, 'this'll be your writing room'. it's got a wooden floor, high ceilings, a huge fireplace, loads of light... i look forward to time spent there.

i was reminded that friendship at its best is so often like a homecoming. the simple words, welcome home are more priceless than jewels...

the house is beautiful. it will inspire me creatively i know. i won't probably move until the 20th but in the intervening days shall be a hive of preparatory activity.

i was reminded that friendship at its best can be a phone call merely to say, i haven't seen you for a couple of days, i wanted to see how your day is going...a reminder of constancy of care...

i headed from 'home' to the bunker at lavery's to see 'wee' ben play a set, performing under the name ::half caste:: it was cool to see him on stage, another first for me, (well discounting the two times he was pulled out of the crowd to sing on stage with the frames, he made me cry and i didn't even know who he was... he represented us all...)
he did great tonight, up there on his own. he wears and plays his acoustic like its an electric. i felt chuffed.

i was reminded that friendship at its best often gets as its reward a coat of laughter to share in ridiculous moments...

i returned home listening to an old favourite on the car stereo...

and i was reminded that friendship at its best can be marked by a synchronistic intentional email...
this one containing shared memories, a stack load of encouragement and the following lyrics, from david gray's ::century ends::

::
Shine

Don't be hiding in sorrow
or clinging to the past
with your beauty so precious
and the season so fast
and hey, no matter how cold the horizon appears
or how far the first night
when I held you near
we're gonna rise from these ashes
like a bird aflame
take my hand
we're gonna go where we can shine
(na na na na na na na na, shine)

And for all that we struggle
for all we pretend
you know, you know, you know it don't come down to nothing
except love in the end
and ours is a road
that is strewn with goodbyes
but as it unfolds
as it all unwinds
remember your soul is the one thing
you can't compromise
step out of the shadow
we're gonna go where we can shine
we're gonna go where we can shine
we're gonna go where we can shine

(and look, and look)
Through the windows of midnight
moonfoam and silver

::

you are my life...you who remind me of these things... who embody care, and so allowing me the gift of grieving rather than pretending...

i am blessed by the reminder that even the shittiest day can be turned around if only we will live through it with attention...the divine is in the detail


may there be transformation amid the transition...

LB, x