read instructions carefully

a few words, following messages and conversations of late, as to what this thing is all about...

i guess i just want to say, please don't worry.
some of the stuff i post here is the stuff that tickles me, enboldens me, some is stuff that hurts.

if we pretend there is no darkness in life then we are doing just that: pretending.
life is shit. life is also amazing and beautiful. but we aren't humanized, made fleshly whole and real if we only reflect the nice stuff. the comforting cozy warm stuff.

so, here's some reassurances for those who have been concerned on reading some of my bleaker moments of late:

they are moments - a state of being - they are reactionary and usually temporary
if you look at other posts, often right next door, there is a whole other state of being depicted

think of this blog in a psalmic way - you get the good days and the bad
i blog, as i journal, because i find writing a catharsis. a way of communicating what's going on inside. it helps me. whether or not anyone reads it is almost a moot point. but i'm glad you do and that some of you really seem to get something out of the honesty.
this is the edited version. life is what happens when i'm not blogging and i don't intend this space to be an account of every mood i went through in a day. i'd never get anything else done...and i don't want to worry anyone but if you think this blog has its dark moments you better not see what doesn't get blogged...

if you only got to hear the happy stuff then i'd not be authentically drawn on these pages. i am redrawing my life. it is a decidely scary place to be. but please remember i could not express myself here if i did not have people in my life to help me feel a sense of safety. to support me when my knees buckle... please don't forget the people i mention with such love in these pages. i have them. and i have you.

i do the best i can with what i have. . .

LB, x
well there you go - two posts after all. . . :0)