Burst

on sunday night some ikon folks gathered upstairs in white's for music and chat. chris and tim performed some britney and madonna and then chris's song ::burst::
afterward he confirmed my suspicion that he was playing it for me. it is a beautiful song... full of tenderness and bravery.

job loss means i am going to have to make some very tough pragmatic decisions very soon, which are no doubt going to bring a lot more changes. never before have i felt such a weight of the question, what do i want to do with my life? and in a period when i am feeling a lot of insecurities and facing up to fears of alone-ness, i am feeling increasingly less confident in my creativity and fear i will be swayed to do the pragmatic thing and go pursue what i can do with my head rather than what i want to do from my heart. guess i should go back to the studio and find that green-ness in me...

i texted chris yesterday to let him know about my work situation and i received this email response... this is quite remarkable...it is rare that i would post the words of someone else without their permission but this is so incredibly beautiful i just had to...

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got your message ----

well - the song seems even more appropriate now - you are entering the cocoon even deeper now. and the pain will twist you into a new shape - and i am sure you can feel it now - the twisting, the coming undone, the uncertainty, the unravelling.....

i don't know what will happen...all i can say is that i love you and i will be here for you as and when you need me....a new beauty awaits you, a new self, new souls to connect with in love and work...and you will burst forth from this, you will open your eyes and you will be outside....

the darkness is only frigthening when you are on your own and you are not...we will walk together and because we do we will be able to summon the spirit to walk with us...because that is the truth..when two or three are gathered there is something else....we will be more, you will be more...do not be afraid of the darkness as it will bleed daylight sooner or later.

let us sustain you and do not be afraid to ask for anything........

so my sister i send you my words again tonight...

"Burst out of your coccoon
wrapped up in the fibres weaved by fallen looms
burst, from the grasp of clutching ghosts
open your eyes
you're outside"

love

chris

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wow. each time i try to put up walls, and harden my heart, someone turns around and dismantles me with tenderness.

i thought it'd take tonight's gig to bring the relief of tears. i didn't need to wait that long.

LB, x.



p.s. here's some more frames lyrics: - you can listen to em all at www.theframes.ie. all are from dance the devil. an album no collection should be without... at least two of these will be played tonight...


Seven Day Mile

Your will changes everyday
It's a road you've come upon
I can't help you if you want to
Down here nothing gets a chance
It's a threat that's real enough
We can burn this bridge or stay here
It's a breeze everlasting like time
Making so sure that
I can return just to see it from your side again

Always never seems to work
It's a word you never learned
I don't really see a way clear
It's a sea ever churning in tides
In the sureness of time
And our words will repeat now forever again
Well this might take a while to figure out
So don't you rush it
And hold your head up high right through the doubt
'Cause it's just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away

I don't have a choice in this
It's a road I've come upon
You can join us if you want to

Always never seems to work
It's a word we never learned
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away
It's line you've been wanting
It's your time
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and never again
Never again

And down here nothing gets chance
It's a world too big for us
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between yeah and never again
Never again

Pavement Tune

This situation's killing me
It's got me right under the thumb
I don't know where I want to be
This doesn't make no sense at all
You're quoting every single line
I spoke too much but I was old before my time, you told me

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me

This road is crooked cracked and wrong
They got the odds staked nice and high
I don't know how they get along
Me, I just internalize
You can imagine what they'd say
Given the choice if I could fight or walk away, I'm walking

You see I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make more sense to me

So let me take you by the hand
And lead you through this troubled mind
You said yourself we had a plan
To get us all back to the line
We talk about it everyday
But we keep forgetting what it was we came to say
Now don't we

I want my life to make more sense
I want my life to make amends
I want my life to make more sense to me
My life to make amends

Plateau

I'm on a plateau
It's not where I belong
It's taken so many years
To figure out my way
Upon this plateau
It's all been said and done
And every time I try
The words make little sense until you're gone

And everything must change
Everything must change
Upon this plateau
The diamond sky's enough to take you miles ahead
Where the past can't ever catch us
And all your good friends
Are gathering all around
They say the time is now
And so I must resolve to say
It's just me myself again
And I'm just talking to the wall this time
It's just me myself and I
Deciding on a plan

And everything must change
Everything must change inside you now
Everything must change inside and out
Everything must change, change...
I'm on a plateau
I'm on a plateau...

(p) + (c) The Frames 1992-2003