like a cat at 4am

i've got a blurry little bundle of thoughts, on vulnerability and the hazardous risk and healing of love, sitting on the periphery, so in the meantime, while i try and bring them closer so that i might articulate them, here's the words of adam duritz, one of my favourite lyricists. this is track 9 on counting crow's hard candy album, which is a decidely mixed fare. but this one is beautiful...

feel compelled to post this. i can't explain why, save for this album was playing on the car stereo as gail and i drove back across scotland. i don't recall hearing this track but the refrain ::it's all inside of you:: has been running through my head for the past 24 hours on constant replay. i wasn't even sure what song it came from and had to do a little digging to be reminded.

wondering if it was scratching at my door because of theme of the inner child needing security and the adult fulfilment of it in the arms of 'someone' (for which i wonder if he's really meaning 'anyone' and that the object of the song is the person that really matters to his heart)

but not sure if this song was beckoning to me, or to someone else... sometimes our stories intertwine... so i'm putting this out because maybe it's trying to speak to more than just me...or perhaps this gives voice to that which i don't yet know how or dare to express...


If anything
it should have been
a better thing
From underneath you
staring at the ceiling
There's another world
of chocolate bars and baseball cards
That hides inside of all
this tension that I'm feeling
But It's all inside of you
Yeah, it's all inside of you

Surprise surprise
I miss your hair, you miss my eyes
And all this solitude
is my confidence eroding
So we slide inside of
someone's mouth and someone's eyes
Until there's a sound
of something intimate exploding
But it's all inside of you
Yeah, it's all inside of you
It was all inside of you
It was all inside of you

I wish that I was anesthetized
and sterilized and then
we wouldn't have this evidence congealing
Surprise surprise,
another pair of lips and eyes
And that is the consequence
of actually feeling
It was all inside of you
It was all inside of you
It was all inside of you
It was all inside of you

LB, x