first up, i have been remiss in not noting gratitiude to those with whom i shared christmas day and boxing day. ::you rock my world:: the festive sojourn was, despite running out of home heating oil (D'Oh!), a warm experience, thanks to you all.
this week i am busy writing. yes. actually writing. and not blog musings either. but a proper grown up book.
way back on the second week of blogging (March 2005) I said that once i was working just one job i was going to run at a long overdue book project. well, real life kinda got in the way, as it so awkwardly often does, and now that i have no job i am trying to have a go and make real progress in the hopefully not too long interim until i find myself again gainfully employed. i have no idea if i can get it published, although i think it's probably marketable, but i'm writing it anyway cause it's been sitting in my head all this time and i need to make room for other stuff.
this next bit is for Willow who has, has along with other angels, been rather encouraging of my efforts.
so Willow,
this is the comment posted to duchovny's blog that led to me having a blog in the first place. in light of 2005's more dramatic events and my stumbling attempts to share that journey with some kind of honesty on these pages (at least since it became impossible to hide the truth any longer), this is quite poignant. i'm not into prophecy, but you gotta wonder at what we know deep within ourselves. i mean in terms of truths to hold for the journey ahead... anyway here it is for your enjoyment. it's still sitting online at the ::house of d:: blog but the formatting there is kinda screwy. so funny to think that as i was writing this you were on set and meeting the man and talking ordination potential... still making me chuckle.
::
David
You have me back reading the Grimm brothers. “One eye, two eyes and three eyes” is still as freaky a tale at 31 as it was when I was 7.
Anyways, I’m backtracking to a comment or two you made in earlier posts. (I hope that doesn’t confuse things) Heck you ain’t using caps or paragraphs, so I’ll jump back in time.
So I’ve been musing about how to be human is to be storytellers. And it seems that those who pursue the telling with commitment and conviction, (be they writers, or actors, musicians or movie directors), in telling stories of what it is to be human, must strive to be honest. To be an authentic witness to human experience. To tell it like it is, as much as how it can be.
Frederick Buechner writes beautifully on this theme. In “Telling the Truth”, where he’s exploring tragedy, comedy and fairytale and reflecting on what it is to be a truthful preacher, he speaks to anyone who wants to tell the story of what it is to be a ‘human being’. It came to mind when I thought about your comment that you wanted to write “a funny, tragic modern day urban fairy tale--that didn't pull punches” and indeed in the idea of “unlikely angels”. Something tells me you’d get a kick out his poetic and beautifully comic musings, maybe in particular his thoughts on tragedy in Dostoevsky.
And maybe his last line in that same book, in which he paraphrases Tolkien, defines your ‘movie movie’. One which tells a “tale that is too good not to be true because to dismiss it as untrue is to dismiss along with it that catch of the breath, that beat and lifting of the heart near to or even accompanied by tears, which I believe is the deepest intuition of truth that we can have."
Telling the truth of human experience, from a place of authenticity and vulnerability is sometimes the best thing we can do with the tools we have. Maybe that resonates with your comment about “pleasing yourself and others will be pleased”. Maybe that’s another way to say, “To thine own self be true”. When you tell your own tales of the world within, others will hear their own story told in the telling. When you speak of healing, others share in the gift. The redemption of a story is the possibility of a happy ever after. That impossibly, detention cells might one day become gardens, without or within us, (loving that idea). But no one will believe it unless first they trust you’ve told it like it is. To hear the hilarious absurdity– that there really is a point to hoping in this world and that sometimes our angels are indeed unlikely but angels all the same, then first the heartache must be authentically given voice. Only then might we be awakened unto hope. Something tells me you may just have got it right with your tale. . I sure hope so.
Very much enjoying this open conversation you’ve got going and looking forward to the European release date. Hope you find restorative time amidst the busyness of getting HoD out there.
That was long. I’m sorry. There’s no doubt a line building up behind me.
Word is born.
LoserBaby.
::
well, over nine months on since i wrote the above and i have litle or no clue as to why willow and others drop by here, and i'm still not sure what my reasoned thoughts on blogging are. but, if nothing else, it's a good way to keep writing with regularity and honesty. so, if for no other purpose, it has been worth it.
thanks friends for your encouragement and little bursts of excitement. it means a lot. here's hoping to hell i can complete this and the various other creative pursuits currently sitting on the table. you'll no doubt be hearing about all of them as the weeks and months go by.
when people ask me what i do i have been encouraged to say with confidence, "i am currently between jobs, but mostly i write"...
but any ideas for gainful employment would be greatly appreciated. there are after all bills to be paid. and although the eagles sang, 'love will keep us alive', i'm not taking any chances. i'd kinda like to work in a book store or a coffee shop but last time i tried to pursue that i was apparently over qualified and didn't get a look in. Gen X attempts at mcjobbing are not as easy as you might think. note to self: update CV asap.
and may i finally add some snap shots from the mcewan's new year's eve bash, which was marvellous by the way. thanks to our hosts: you throw a great party. i suggest you respond with a seasonal pantomime approach, i.e. with lots of cheers and boos in the appropriate places:
1. dressed up for once (well it did involve jeans but i was a sight more dressy than
normal) with a brand new hair cut, i saw in the new year unexpectedly
being kissed (rather passionately might i add) by a good looking gay man,
who took pity on my current "lack of action" and decided to start my year off with
a reminder of what i am missing. sweet merciful Lord!
2. i was told by a young...man...that i was "over-the-hill" at 32. SO not
impressed. i am still smarting but maintained enough of a Christ-like attitude to
applaud his rather good guitar playing and singing when,
3. much of the night was spent at the party-within-a-party in the front room, where a
bunch of us sang the night away as we so often do. i was truly chilled, happy, and
i think, in the ball park of in-tune. but we had all drunk a lot so who cares? by
the way, might i recommend port as a good balm for the throat when attempting to
vocally perform at half four in the morning.
4. i stayed up until well after 6am, and that included still dancing at 5am.
Over-the-hill, my arse, ya young scut!!!
4 days to brokeback mountain... the good dr says it's a sure thing for best picture at the oscars.
and to those who are currently engaged in essay writing, be it on the finer details of health management in the NHS, Christian theology in all its glory, or indeed phenomenological analyses of porn, God Speed(typing)!
LB, x
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