heaven in the ordinary

how much easier life would be if we were honest...
if rather than eating our words we expressed how we feel... risked conflict... owned rather than denied our truth...
so many things never said... when is it too late to say what we wish we had...? is there a statute of limitations on expression? how to learn to live with the unexpressed and the knowledge we are so often misunderstood by our making...

::

i'm using openzone wifi for the first time. am with john the prez sharing our stories, enjoying the return of the sunshine and witnessing more of a buzz on the avenue than there's been this past drenched month. i'm pretty sure we've had over 30 consecutive days with rain...

regardless of the weather, not much can surpass the news just in (the advantage of wifi on the streets) that my brother and his beautiful wife and daughter are coming to visit for the month of october. i can't believe i'm going to meet my neice. for all the shadows i feel still lingering around the edges of things,the sense that somewhere in these past few weeks i lost my mojo, this is a strong shaft of light as warm as the sun here on botanic avenue.

starting to get excited about GB07...over the rhine... dennison witmer... rosie thomas... dear sarah masen... billy bragg... iain archer... duke special... peterson toscano... and to know i will be surrounded by so many of the belfast/london/nashville posse... to feel the warmth of community amongst the canvas... so many beloveds in one place... so many faces to greet that i often don't get to see save for those precious few days in cheltenham... it remains a pilgrimage... my 15th consecutive year... it must be love...

the darkness that has at times overwhelmed and yet pervasively tinged my days of late has been keeping me from feeling excited about much. even the things i should feel really trippy about... opportunities to create and collaborate... ikon at gb... reservoir cats... i feel like the magic is just beyond my fingertips...

listening to a lot of Nico these days... seems to fit the mood...

i miss jayne... hello lovely...

ah, more lovely folks have appeared - time to engage in face to face connection... helps the light break through...

give peas a chance
LB,x

::

I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.

I've stopped my rambling,
I don't do too much gambling
These days, these days.
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway.

I had a lover,
I don't think I'll risk another
These days, these days.
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long.
La la la la la, la la.

I've stopped my dreaming,
I won't do too much scheming
These days, these days.
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten.
Please don't confront me with my failures,
I had not forgotten them.

These Days, Nico.