home, part deux

it's all about the collectivity...

just arrived home from a pretty cool friday: companionship and artistic processing (of i know yet not what) with jayne, cosmopolitans and level 5 chat with keli (a long overdue embracing of 'our' favourite 'tipple' and in practise what i fear/anticipate may become an all too regular 'cocktail hour' in our collective abode) coffee and realness in beautiful evening light with the mullingtons, jayne, willow and john p, and dinner at dao on dublin road with a bottle of wine and level 5 with willow, with keli's instruction that we should spend the evening being 'the ladies who dinner'. ha.

and so i return home with a multitude of thoughts swimming within me - but all tied together, as i have written of often on these pages, that this city, which, if we let it would drive us to despair, is the setting for committed relationships.

i have really missed the rootings of my week - i have had neither tuesday group or session with sigmund this week, and yet i enter another saturday knowing that i have an incredible bunch of people in my life. all unique, not always in agreement on everything, and with often vastly different experiences, but with the commonality of wanting to be 'real'. we often express that differently, and each bring our own sets of 'issues' and hurts to the table, but the commitment to one another is palpable, and as i told my step sister the other day in dublin, i wouldn't move back even if i could afford it, i have too many good friends here - i choose these people to be 'home' to me, to allow my life to intertwine with their's.

this season sees many of us moving into the same area... many of my closest friends
will soon be in a mile radius of me... and as i write those words it strikes me that this will be the first time in my life i've been able to write those words... ever.

this city is not always an easy one to live in. but then, where is? well, asides from vancouver. but even it has a heroin problem. and switzerland has a shocking suicide rate despite being able to time your watch by the bus timetable. this place, for all its fucked up-ness has a heart. a deeply troubled one maybe, but as i said to paul c on his last visit here, there's something in this place that you can sharpen yourself on...

LB, x