in a day in which i felt lost for the first time in quite a while and feeling the long loneliness pulling at me, this helped me back toward remeeting myself.
so much of the time my life is about being at the edges, pushing to a place of provocation and holding things without certainty and yet seeking simultaneously to live with conviction and passion for what one hopes is good and true.
some days i find that harder than others. i needed a fulcrum today. i needed it to be okay to want and need to step in under the canvas a little more. to embrace one's inner conflict, contradiction and doubt by forgiving oneself of them all and allowing oneself the gift of some radical welcome. only then can one bear to be truly open to others.
nadia refers to the Holy Spirit as she. and this morning, shirley sent me this song in response to the photos i posted last night, (an several years old piece from an ikon gathering called christa that i've been reworking)
Hope Mountain by Anthony and the Johnstons
Hope Mountain
Is the place where
The girl first dawned her face
For the crowd
That was gathered
Outside her dark white cave
And then scores of
Soaring eagles
Lift her to the breaking day
We are waiting
And we're watching
The waters as they sigh
Hope Mountain
Is the place where
The people come to cry
She was born
Like a diamond
Out of the mountainside
She treasures our
Brokenness
And will raise us from the tide
We laid there
Gently resting
On the golden green
In the falls
Of the foxes
The hungry and relieved
It's time to
Take a wild flight
And let things start again
It's time
To produce what's right
And start to make amends
Look
Look in the water
Look who it is
It's just Jesus
This time she's a girl
This time she's a girl
audio version:
i got some nice emails too. one was this, from jon,
“If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world ablaze!”
– St. Catherine of Siena
i feel the dots of myself joining back up.
LB
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