there's pink sticky stuff on my keyboard

so - later today i fly to London. my suitcase sits beside me here in the office.

tomorrow i get to spend the day with Kristen, in town from DC on a PhD research trip. it'll be an emotional reunion i know. so much has happened in the last 16 months since we last saw each other... beginnings and endings.

last night saw the commune celebrate the solstice, ironically the darkest night we've had in ages, with a pile of folks coming round for cosmopolitans...public service announcement: don't surf while holding a fulltothebrim martini glass.
it was nice to see the smiley faces of my compadres and it cut through the anxiety i've been feeling this week. monday saw the lid of pandora's box swing open and since then there's been rioting of emotions and trying to keep them all in until i have the space to just let go. so it was a good thing to be able to hold the people i hold so dear to me and feel their friendship in my arms. i will miss them over the next couple of weeks and i know that i will think of them often... wishing they were each there in little moments...

i'll hear gail's infectious laugh as we choose cheese and wine
i'll imagine willow's endearing indecision as we browse the market stalls
i'll see beauty with ricky's eyes in the converging lines and small details as i wander through the narrow streets with camera in hand
i'll feel keli's arm on mine as i browse in the antiques quarter
i'll hear stu's enthusiastic, 'let's go people!' as we jump in the car on an excursion
i'll want gareth to remind me the name of that film with yer man from that other film about that thing, the one with whatserface, as we chat over dinner
i'll think of jayne as i collect little scraps and pieces to put on my collages and stories i'd want to tell and hear
i'll smile at the thought of the boys at CGs as i sip my morning coffee on the terrrace and miss their greeting
i'll chuckle with Pad, Lynn, Mo in mind as i people watch in front of cafe de france and hear their comic running commentary in my head

this is the crew, well, many of them... as rainbow dreams reminded me, not with me in body but ever present allthesame...a loveable bunch of dysfunctional misfits if ever there was one. as i wrote the above and let two worlds merge together in my mind i feel the anxiety over having to go to the airport in a few hours ease a little and the warmth of their place in my life calms me...

so 12 days away from my nest...and there to share all those moments will be jude, one of the best friends a girl could ever ask for and when i turn to her or feel her presence at my side, i'll know i am blessed... i'll treasure each day of the trip, because too soon it'll be over and i'll be back home and missing her...

LB,x