who taught us how to feel

lost my mojo somewhere this week. . .
it's been quite a while
just don't seem to have the wherewithall to deal . . .

i feel a close friend has pulled away - his voice is different. his texts seem different, lacking punctuation.
he and i say so much but he never allows expression for raw emotional feeling unattached to thought,
we so rarely say what we feel and now i've not the
faintest notion of how to tell him that for all the wonderful moments
gracing these days
it is pulling me down that i fear he is pulling away. that it makes my gut ache.
maybe it's me. maybe when we next meet he will waltz in like there's no distance at all.
or maybe he's the one who's falling and needs a hand.

i wonder is this what she meant when, on lithium, she said she couldn't cry.

She comes apart in the avalanche
Fades out like a dance
And crawls back into bed when it's over *

Later . . .

IM with annie.
talk of our tattoos - actual and desired.
some quiet tracks on the iPod...

and the burden seems lighter already...

and the precious memories of the day are so much clearer.
i saw stocki tonight. and iain. and chris. mike slipped his arm through mine as iain sang.

and right now i'm listening to the frames' plateau.

it's all taken care of. yep.

* ryan adams - avalanche, from love is hell pt 1.